Once in my life, I pursued music as a career. I wanted to get into music school.
I had been living on my own at this time. I worked a full-time day job just to barely afford rent. On the evenings, I worked another part-time job at a restaurant so I could afford piano lessons.
I would practice until past midnight and dawn because I knew that I would have to reach the level of the best in order to make it into a conservatory.
At this time, my biggest inspiration and role model was Yuja Wang. She is a celebrated pianist worldwide who plays in a concert in a big city every three days. I wanted to play just like her.
But I did not have the background. I did not have the wealth. I did not have a family of musicians. All I had was two minimum wage jobs and a piano to go against the world.
This is when I learned that the world is very competitive. It has no mercy.
I remember when I discovered a piano teacher who has sent his students to the best conservatories. I remember when I really wanted to learn from him.
He told me in his own exact words that music is a career where only those who have parents with lots of wealth can achieve. After that, he quoted me $230 a lesson, by the hour.
I barely made $10 an hour at the time. Tax would take away even more from my hourly $10.
So I would have to work for more than 23 hours straight just to afford one hour of lessons with this "world-class" professional teacher.
Yeah. Life is unfair. But I wasn't giving up.
I was able to find two other music teachers who helped me a lot. One was a concert pianist at the time, and the other was a sweet old lady who enjoyed and loved music.
The concert pianist rightfully charged me a high price, but it was something I was willing to spend to learn.
But the teacher I appreciated the most was the sweet lady who would teach me at a very low price just because she wanted to.
I remember when she wrote me a Christmas card one day. I felt very happy to receive one because it was the only gift I had received in a very long time.
Turns out that she did not know how to spell my name "Zen" correctly, but I did not care about that. I was very happy with the card.
She wanted me to play in one of the upcoming Christmas concerts. The video you will see here is that exact concert where one of my closest friends Ankit recorded and put on his Youtube channel.
My teacher is in the video. Can you try finding her?
My teacher is someone who values tradition. She appreciates music for how they have been intended to be by the original composers. She is someone who truly respects the works of Beethoven and Mozart.
Yet even despite her own feelings, she told me to play the music any way I wanted to. And so, this video is a record of me doing my best to imitate Yuja Wang (poorly). ^_^
I set what I had to do. I did my best. That concert was the final time I played in public. But it is not that I gave up.
No, I took the knowledge of music and the lessons I learned with me to every other aspect of my life.
Although I gave up on the idea of becoming a concert pianist, I still play the piano. I would never give up on music.
I am glad to have met my wonderful teacher Bernice Barker.
Unfortunately, she is not with us anymore. This news came when I started going back to university again to pursue my degree in computer science.
One day, I had started thinking about her. I wanted to talk with her and give her an update on how I am doing.
So, I called the music school she had worked at. Then I heard the news.
I miss her very much. And I regret not contacting her sooner.
Yet I am confident that she is happy that I never stopped playing the piano.
It is so easy to take granted of what might seem so small to us at the moment. And I still do even now. But I believe it is up to us to try to do our best to keep remembering, even if we can't.
We are still living.
This is the latest piano recording of my jazz cover of L-O-V-E by Nat King Cole.
I still play! :)
Note: The woman in the image you see at the top of this article is Yuja Wang at one of her fun concerts.
image source: feastofmusic.com/feast_of_music/2019/02/yuj..